this essay one of my favs from my 21 days of writing challenge I’m taking part in. I touched more on this in my first post day 1: depression
happy reading and blessings <3
I have this vivid memory from when I was a kid. I walked into Toys'R'Us with my dad, super excited to check out and buy the new Nintendo Gameboy that had just come out. All my friends had one and I was so hype to get my grubby little hands on one. I already knew what games I wanted and had preordered Pokemon Blue AND Pokemon Silver from Gamestop.
But when I got to the checkout line the checkout lady said something I wasn't expecting. She told me that for only $100 more, I could get the newest, freshest Nintendo game console, a Nintedo DS. On a mission, I was taken aback when faced with the opportunity to obtain a better version of what I desired. My dad gave me a head pat and told me to get whichever console I wanted. So naturally, fuck the Gameboy and get a DS, right? WRONG.
Despite my dad totally willing to pay for the new shiny console, I still got the Gameboy and told myself I would get the DS later. I've pondered 7-y-old Shrav's judgement in this moment. Am I surprised though? Not at all.
I think I've always felt like I couldn't have certain things I desired until I was "ready" for them or until I "deserved" them. Dreaming and shooting for the stars seems so appealing, but I am much more comfortable landing on the moon than reaching excellence. Excellence requires consistency, discomfort but more importantly, breaking out of social norm. It requires succumbing to the judgement of others. I inherited this limiting mindset from my dad; having grown up poor in India, he feared judgement from family members when he accrued wealth from a lucrative career in tech. Excess was frowned upon while minimalism and humility was encouraged. I'm grateful to have these values instilled in me, however this fallacy around worthiness has cost me many opportunities for deep unknown joy throughout my life.
No longer will I self sabotage. I’m going to make myself big. Bigger than I ever have before. So big I block the sun and the stars fear me. I'm going think big then 10X that shit. Blending in with the sheeple and minimizing my accomplishments has only made me small. People who are unafraid to challenge the unchallenged are the ones who change the world. Those who dare to question normalcy, dare to be bold, dare to make themselves present tap into a state of expansiveness that is transcendent.
You can literally have anything and everything you desire. I fully believe with enough heart and clarity of vision, the universe will conspire to get any efficacious person to their destination. You literally deserve everything you have and THEN SOME. Don't be a cog in the machine homie, the world has so much more to offer than we all think.
-Shrav
If ya liked this, check out avoiding the big CRINGE <3
~vibes